Youth's Lives Every Day
BD Wong is a beloved advocate and an award-winning actor across Broadway, film, and TV. He is a Tony Award winner, an Emmy and Critics’ Choice Award nominee, and his accolades and recognitions honor his acting talent and his fierce support of the Asian and LGBTQ+ communities.
He continues to use his artistry and platform to uplift LGBTQ+ stories and communities. He recently performed at “Songs From an Unmade Bed,” a benefit concert supporting The Trevor Project. Following his performance, BD spoke with us about the importance of chosen family, intergenerational care, and mental health in the queer community. In this heartfelt conversation, he reflects on how therapy, creativity, and connection sustain him, and shares words of encouragement for LGBTQ+ young people pursuing their dreams, and for anyone seeking belonging and hope.
You recently performed at the Songs From an Unmade Bed benefit concert – thank you! What did it mean to you to lend your talent to an event that supported The Trevor Project?
I am super into the Trevor Project Mission. A huge part of the queer experience is the concept of Chosen Family – which sprung from queer people’s particular need for familial support. Iconic ideas, like the “drag mother,” all the things we do to cultivate family, whether or not we are close to or functional with our own biological family, are unique to our community and it is absolutely essential that we nurture, champion, and protect them. To be a healthy, well adjusted queer young person who grows into a healthy, well adjusted queer older person requires, among other crucial things, fostering a world of reciprocal, intergenerational respect. The challenges of growing up queer can be greatly mitigated by the attention and care from one’s older, more experienced elder “family.” So participating in Trevor events always feels good, and important.
You’ve reached incredible heights as an actor, and you’ve been involved in so many entertainment projects. With such a busy schedule, how do you take care of yourself and prioritize your mental health?
Aside from my hobbies (fiber arts, cooking, creative writing), I’m in regular therapy (schedule permitting) and I’m lucky to have had the same wonderful queer therapist for decades now. These check ins and conversations and processing sessions and that sense of being heard and seen by a mental health practitioner have been absolutely essential to my well being and growth and perspective. I’m so grateful for it and am so much the better and happier for it. My relationships have greatly benefited as well.
Can you share any nuggets of wisdom to help LGBTQ+ aspiring actors with self-care while navigating the entertainment industry?
Well, while I think it must be acknowledged that the entertainment industry is indeed an industry and its whims and challenges are almost always traceable to business and commercial goals, it can also be a powerful cultural platform for Our Voice. I really hope the young queer people making their way through careers in entertainment today will embrace the higher self esteem and greater everyday ease in living an out lifestyle that’s available to them now, things that those of my generation did not have, and I’d love that to be acknowledged and remembered. We of course have so much further to go (and always will), but there’s also now an authentic place in modern day storytelling (and in American life generally) for Our Queer Voice.
Aspiring to a career in this field is challenging, as it is for all, and on top of that, Being Different can really bring up feelings of disenfranchisement or self doubt or low sell esteem that are terribly un-useful on a creative person’s plate, so one has to seek out the tools that can help them manage these challenges. One great thing (of many) that I can proudly say about The Trevor Project is that, because of this great org, nobody ever has to feel alone. I urge everyone to find and to take advantage of the many social services available to you as a member of the Queer Community. Sharing your pain and challenges is the first step to conquering them! No matter who you are, where you’ve come from, or what you have or haven’t yet accomplished, you are worth it, and someone out there cares about you and what you’re going thorough.
What words of inspiration and hope do you have for LGBTQ+ young people?
I believe in healing hugs and holding hands. I believe in solidarity and sharing and providing someone with safety or a sense of family and brother/sister/sibling-hood and listening to stories and singing songs and cooking for one another and showing up for someone and urging others to understand the fundamental right, the fundamental need, to both love whom we choose, and to be who we are. Each of these things I’ve randomly listed are gravely dependent on the idea that people are good and that good people take care of one another. If you’re a person in need of support or help of any kind, you must know that there are people who not only can help you, but who would love to help you. You must never forget that someone is there, or can be there if you ask. So many of us grow up feeling a profound sense of loneliness or rejection, but for every one of us who does, there’s someone who understands and who’s arms are open. You can find that person without too much difficulty, and a great place to start looking is at The Trevor Project. And if you’re a person who understands what I’ve described and is lucky enough to be on the other side of it, please consider taking that survival perspective and giving back to those who now feel as you did “back in the day.” There are so many ways to share your love in this way, and the difference it can make in a young person’s journey can unquestionably be the difference between life and death.
