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Honoring Asher: A Family’s 25-Year Commitment to LGBTQ+ Youth

BY: Trevor News
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Lisa Kleinman and her family are generous supporters of The Trevor Project’s mission. Lisa experienced the tragic loss of her nephew, Asher, who would be turning 24 this year on August 12. 

Following Asher’s passing, Lisa and her family made a 25-year commitment to honor Asher’s memory through their peer-to-peer campaign to help The Trevor Project support LGBTQ+ youth in crisis. Each year, the funds raised will support a different program: Crisis Intervention, Research, Public Education, Peer Support, and Advocacy & Government Affairs. 

We spoke to Lisa about Asher’s life, her wonderful memories of him, her family’s commitment to The Trevor Project, and her words of inspiration for LGBTQ+ young people. 

Can you tell us more about Asher? 

Asher was a vibrant, passionate young man who loved learning, cooking, animals, swimming, wrestling, football, and his friends. He was an Eagle Scout. As a small child, he was bursting with energy. He was close in age to my youngest son, Elliot, and the two of them spent a lot of time together as children. I had a special relationship with him as well—we loved to talk about cooking and went on expeditions together to buy spices. 

Asher grew up in an Orthodox Jewish community in Riverdale, NY, and spent two years studying in Israel before college. He had planned to study physical therapy, but he returned to the U.S., unsure of what he wanted to do with his life. Instead of enrolling at the college to which he had been accepted, he moved in with his parents, who had relocated to Memphis, TN, and spent a year working in construction and learning about the building trades while contemplating his future. On the morning of May 19, 2022, he didn’t wake up. He was 20 years old. His cause of death is unknown. 

What led to your ongoing commitment to supporting The Trevor Project? 

Among Asher’s close friends were several members of the queer community who were struggling, in part because the Orthodox Jewish community is not a very comfortable place for LGBTQ+ folks. Asher was a staunch ally, and he contributed to The Trevor Project himself because he believed in its mission and saw among his own friends how desperately Trevor’s services are needed. 

After his death, we—his aunt, uncle, and cousins, the Kleinman family—decided to launch a Trevor Project fundraising campaign in his memory. The campaign was launched on what would have been Asher’s 21st birthday. 

Please share more about your peer-to-peer fundraising commitment, and why you’ve chosen this path to support The Trevor Project?

Asher’s death was a huge blow to his extended family, his many friends, and the larger Jewish community. We wanted to include as many people in our effort to tackle one of the problems that Asher himself recognized in our society, and did his best to address. Over 100 people donated to the campaign over three years.

Can you share a brief, hopeful message to loss survivors in our community?

The death of a young person is one of the most painful things a family can experience, but the joy Asher brought us will always be with us. While we’re still deeply grieving him, we’re also grateful that he was a part of our lives, and we’re inspired by his passion and his strong character.

What words of inspiration do you have for LGBTQ+ young people?

This is such a challenging time—it seemed like attitudes about gender and sexuality had really changed, but the backsliding we’re seeing today is so disheartening. But know that you have supporters and allies everywhere who care about you, who want you to be your authentic self, and who want you to be happy. 

Visit The Trevor Project’s resources page to learn more about LGBTQ+ identity and how to support LGBTQ+ young people.

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